Instagram Couples Traveling the World are Damn Liars.
Remember this disgustingly attractive Instagram couple?
Ugh. The worst, right?
They took photos together, always in this pose, whilst traveling all over the world (it seems like mostly to beaches?) looking gorgeous.
A few months back, this world travelling Instagram millennial couple made news because they charged up to $9,000 for a sponsored Instagram post. Which honestly makes me just want to vomit. But that’s not what this post is about.
Look at these assholes. They’re travel bloggers/Instagrammers who basically just do the above and get paid for it.
Sidenote: WHO IS TAKING CARE OF THE PUPPIES WHEN THEY TRAVEL?
They’ve been together for just over one year. I know because of this Instagram post:
There are so many cringe-worthy levels to this photo. But here’s what I want to talk about: this couple’s relationship is a lie.
Because here’s something none of these traveling Instagram couples will tell you: traveling with a significant other is really difficult. It’s not always waterfalls, kissing under hot air balloons and splashing around at the beach like these Instagram couples might have you believe.
Traveling can be stressful. It doesn’t matter if you’re a solo traveler, with a spouse or with friends. There’s the culture shock, the homesickness and navigating every day tasks in a different language, it’s all very overwhelming at times. It raises the stress levels and for a lot of people (including me), that makes them irritable. It creates a sort of heightened sense of urgency and importance about things, things that might not even matter that much.
What these couples aren’t showing you is the bickering they got into about what metro route is fastest. Or the argument about what to eat for dinner. Or the the frustration when neither of them could decide whether to eat out or stay in.
Like I’ve mentioned before, my boyfriend and I don’t always get to see each other but since we’ve been in Taiwan our time together has been multiplied like five-fold. Which was great! At first.
You know by now that I have no other friends (except for my boyfriend) so we see each other a lot. All our time is spent together. Working at home, even my work hours are spent in proximity to my boyfriend. So, we’re together allllll. theeee. timmeee.
Being with one other person, almost all the time, can drive anyone crazy. We all need alone “me” time. As an introvert, my alone time is precious. It’s what recharges my batteries and makes me feel sane.
There’s that moment when habits you’ve never noticed before turn blood boilingly annoying. This moment is when you hit your limit of being with only one other person and not having alone time.
But these Instagram couples seem to be with each other all time (except for the poor third wheel that’s taking these photos, though my money is on a tripod and self timer).
Sidenote: If a giraffe came though my window to eat my food, I would be fucking terrified.
If they’re really traveling this much and especially in locations where the predominant language is not English, I seriously doubt they’re meeting others or that they even have friends outside of the relationship. Swimming in waterfalls and lunching with giraffes leaves little time to meet people.
Not only do they not seem to spend much time apart, but they also don’t seem to have friends.
I can’t get everything I need from one person. For one thing, it’s SO annoying to try and explain why I’m excited I picked up a new Korean beauty product to someone who doesn’t even understand the importance of face cleansers! My friends at home would get it right away.
More than that, relationships are difficult to navigate and part of how I figure it out is through talking it out with my friends. Now, that they aren’t around, who do I unload my feelings to? How do I debrief what’s going on in my life?
If this is truly how this Instacouple’s relationship is, and if that’s working for them, then cool. Good for them. But being in a slightly similar situation (I’m just a million dollars, abs and a tan short of their situation), I just can’t see how this works in a healthy, positive way.
I have been traveling with my boyfriend for a few months and it’s been an opportunity for us to get closer, not just as a couple but as friends. We’ve been together for four years but with our opposite work schedules, it’s been difficult to form a constant, consistent feeling of connection. So being together more often and experiencing a life changing decision together, has been really good for us. It’s also helped me to grow and become a better person. Knowing only one person (read more about how I have no friends here) makes me want to/need to compromise, be more relaxed and let things go.
It’s been great to share this experience with someone but it’s not all the waterfalls, giraffe brunches and kissing in hot air balloons that Instagram couples might have you believe. That’s important to remember.
I got set up on a blind friend date… and was ghosted two weeks later.
When my boyfriend and I decided to move from our native Canada to Taiwan, one of my biggest worries was whether or not I would be able to make friends in my new city. I’m introverted, putting myself out there with strangers is difficult for me. I had my wonderful group of friends at home and as DJ Khaled and Drake put it,”no new friends”.
I was relieved when a friend of mine in Toronto, let’s call her Cindy* offered to ‘set me up’ with a friend of her’s from school who was from and now lived in Taiwan. I basically had a built-in, ready made friendship right then and there! One of my major fears was assuaged!
Of course, I said yes. Cindy*, told me that Jamie*, her Taiwanese friend, was really nice, did industrial design and loved art. I have a membership to our local gallery, so, um, match made in bestie heaven? Yeah, I think so.
‘Oh, by the way, she is a vegetarian’ my friend texted me.
Oh…..
Cindy knows I’m a huge foodie and love to try any and everything. I’ll eat anything from octopus beak to chicken feet.
But I’m not against vegetarians or vegans. I eat vegetarian food and if you’re my friend and a vegan, I’ll even listen patiently to you talk about the benefits of your vegan lifestyle without rolling my eyes! However, part of the reason I wanted to move to Taiwan was for the food. It’s important to me to be able to experience a new culture through food and oftentimes, this means meat. But I’m not adverse to vegetarian food or only eating veggies and I’m sure Jamie and I would still be able to get along and hang out without food getting in the way. We’d still have art?
When I arrived in Taipei, Taiwan, Cindy put me in touch with Jamie via Facebook messenger and we started chatting. She seemed really sweet, even letting me know that if I had any questions or needed anything at all to give her a call. We made plans to have dinner (at a vegetarian restaurant) the following week.
My boyfriend is a chef and works odd hours (weekends and holidays included) so I’m used to being on my own even though I live with someone. Coming to Taiwan, I was leaving behind a group of wonderful people who were always around when I wanted to talk, I was going to miss my squad. Even though as an introvert, I covet my alone time, I still needed friends to hang out with. It felt low pressure and comfortable for someone awkward like me to meet a new friend this way.
Jamie and I met at a metro station and walked over to the restaurant together. The conversation flowed seamlessly, it’s easy when you’re new to city to make conversation. We mostly talked about Taipei; what she thought of the city, what I had been doing so far, her recommendations for restaurants and things to see and do. We spoke a little of my hometown and Canada; since she had gone to school there, she was familiar.
At one point, I mentioned that one of the oddest things I had noticed was that no one in Taipei seemed to have vape pens and she explained that they hadn’t caught on but that she thought they were associated with drug use. If you aren’t aware, Taiwan has very strict drug laws. Even marijuana is a pretty taboo topic. I told her how it much of a change it was, coming from Toronto where there’s a new vape shop or medical marijuana dispensary opening every five minutes. I could see her face give off a cooling look. She was uncomfortable. It was the word equivalent of letting out a fart and sneeze and the same time and the other person DEF heard it. FUCK. I’d fucked it up with my new BFF, 30 minutes into our date.
I swiftly changed topics and she seemed to brush off the awkwardness that I had let out. From there, conversation got back on track. I asked her personal questions about her home and family and work. I made her laugh once or twice.
I was on fire.
She paid for the meal which I thanked her profusely for. I couldn’t believe how generous and sweet Jamie was! A part of me wondered if this was just a ploy to never see me again (like pay her off and then never talk again) but then I realized that this was legit crazy and I needed to chill out.
The following days we exchanged messages on Facebook. It was the lunar new year so she was back home with her family but we talked almost every other day, just a message here and there about what I was doing with the time off and her family’s holiday feast. We both said that we would meet up again for another meal. She even said that she would happily show me her hometown, about two hours from Taipei.
There it was, I had made a friend.
After a week or so of just messaging back and forth, I decided to take action. We needed to make another date or we wouldn’t solidify this friendship. We needed to define the relationship.
So I messaged her and asked if she wanted to grab some ice cream. Cute, right? I drafted the message twice before sending so I wouldn’t sound like a weirdo.
Five minutes later I got a reply.
She said she was sorry but she didn’t think she’d be able to come with me. She was going to be spending all her time off with family in her hometown for the next few weeks.
Ummmmm…. Ok. That excuse sounded real familiar. I’m pretty sure I gave that excuse to a few OK Cupid dates. Giving them an unspecified amount of time, being vague but plausible and not committing to any future dates?
I told her no worries and to just let me know if/when she was ever free. The ball was in her court now to make a connection if she felt like it. She sent a smiley face and said to enjoy my ice cream.
Enjoy my ice cream? How could I enjoy my ice cream when I would be eating it all alone on a park bench (is how I pictured it)? Who was this savage beast?
Part of me felt strung along. Maybe I hadn’t picked up on some hints that she wasn’t that into me? But what of the promises of hometown tours, coffee shop dates and Korean BBQ dinners? What’s less than friendzoning?
I wondered if maybe I had said something wrong? Had I inadvertently offended her? Was there some cultural practice I wasn’t aware of and I had clumsily made a faux pas? But I thought we had smoothly sailed past my foot-in-mouth pot comment.
As with any breakup, I quickly texted all my friends to deconstruct her Facebook message. One of my friends told me that she was sure I hadn’t said anything rude.
Oh, good. Then it’s just my terrible personality.
Just like in dating relationships, a true friendship can’t happen if it’s one-sided. If someone doesn’t want me as a friend, why would I want to stick around? Some friendships just aren’t meant to be. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s impossible to be. And I can’t blame anyone for it.
I know all of this. But I was (am) desperate for friends and it made the rejection feel even worse.
Truthfully, maybe there was never a friend connection with Jamie; though I remember really liking her and thinking that she was really nice.
But nice, doesn’t always equal friend. It takes a connection to be friends. Maybe I let my desperation for friends cloud my judgement. Maybe the signs were there along and I just ignored them. In any case, even if I had felt a connection, it was clearly one-sided and it was not going to happen.
Making friends as an adult is hard, making them as an adult in a foreign country with a language barrier is even harder.
A friend, an expat in Canada from Hong Kong told me that she had gone through something similar as an immigrant in Canada and in the U.S. That connecting with someone who may not come from similar experiences can be difficult.
Another friend of mine who has lived moved often and lived in many different countries told me that it takes a year to meet friends in a new country and yet another year to find friends that you actually like.
But, maybe with time and learning more as an expat, this can get a little easier. I don’t think this will come easily but I do think it will come as a result of “putting myself out there” (ugh) and working hard to actually seek these potential friends out. I need to look for like minded people and those I have something in common with.
Probably more than having a membership to the art gallery.
What’s the Taipei Night Market Food like? PART 1
I mentioned in my first article that one of the reasons I wanted to move to Taipei was the food. I love food. You may know that about me. I love to eat, I love to try new foods and go to new restaurants. I will eat pretty much anything. Which is good because Taiwan is home to (from what I’ve heard) over
I love to eat, I love to try new foods and go to new restaurants. I will eat pretty much anything. Which is good because Taiwan is home to (from what I’ve heard) over 100 night markets. There are about 12 major night markets in Taipei that I know of (it’s completely possible that there are more that I haven’t discovered yet). Night markets open up at dusk (around 5-6 p.m.) daily and usually close up around 2 a.m. They’re full of food vendors, local clothing shops or even little street hawkers selling anything from karaoke microphones to Hello Kitty blankets. Each market has different vendors and vendors will not be the same at the night market every night.
This is the old street market in Jiufen
While I love browsing the shops, unfortunately not a whole lot fits me but they still make for good window shopping. Especially if you’re into sweatshirts with giant cartoon characters, glitter or ruffles. Or all of the above. For me, the real star of the night markets has to be food.
THE FOOD.
Because I’m sure you’re curious, here’s what I’ve eaten and some of the things that you can find at some of the night markets in Taipei:
BBQ SKEWERS!
These are done in a DIY kind of way. There are buckets and tongs on the side of the food cart, you chose the skewers you’d like by putting them in the buckets and then hand the bucket to the chef or whoever is working the stand. They grill it for you and then pour on some spices or sauces. They charge per skewer (usually between .50 to $2 CAD per skewer), depending on what the meat or veg is.
And oh, what a selection of meat there is.
Here we have blood sausage and chicken hearts. I’d only ever tried European style blood sausage and I’m really loving the style of sausage here. I’ve had it with just spices rubbed on (pictured here) but you can also find it in the markets with cilantro, sauces and peanut crumbles.
Shitake mushroom bbq skewers, cause you need veggies in your life to avoid the scurvy.
Chicken thigh chunks are NOT to be confused with chicken butt here. Usually translated to “chicken ass” on their menus, they are literally chicken anuses on a skewer. You can even see the buttholes like puckered mouths.
BUTT, I didn’t try them.
STINKY TOFU!
I recently tried stinky tofu for the first time. It has a strong, fermented, musky flavour to it. Like the name suggests, it is quite pungent and does indeed have a strong sewer smell. The first time I was in Asia, I kept smelling a similar “outhousey” scent every so often and I actually thought it was like the Taipei equivalent of that section on Front St in Toronto where you walk by the grate and all you smell is bathroom and you just live with it and walk through it. But it was actually just stinky tofu.
SCALLION PANCAKES OF ALL KINDS!
This is one of my favourite things in the markets. It’s comfort food and it kind of reminds me of something I’d make myself at home. You can find original scallion pancake which is almost like an Asian crepe with green onions everywhere in the markets but also at food stands on the streets. Many stands also let you add delicious ingredients to your pancake.
This is the “Everything” pancake from Thanh Ky on Yongkang Street. It has ham, cheese, egg and basil and tastes like everything I love in life. The processed cheese reminds me of a grilled cheese sandwich and makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Greg and I both love a food stand in the market that does a cheese, corn, egg scallion pancake. Cheese + corn = goodness you never even considered.
This was called a “bomb” pancake. It’s from a food stand in Maokong mountain area. It’s not quite a scallion pancake but it is a pancake so I’m going to include it in here. It has crepe layers as well as a crunchy fried outer layer and is packed with a fried egg in the middle. Hence, the “bomb”.
FRESH FRUITS AND TOMATOES!
When fruits make their way to Toronto, they travel thousands of miles. Here in Taipei, fruit can travel a few kilometres or even less before it’s sold. The difference is mind blowing.
There are fruit stands in night markets that sell pineapples, mangoes, strawberries and other local fruits like custard apple. And they also sell tomatoes. As a dessert.
A local here asked me what I thought the weirdest food here was (pig’s ears? fried frogs? chicken feet?) and right away I told them- the candy tomato skewers.
This skewer has cherry tomatoes, dried plums and is coated with a hard candy apple layer. It’s SO WEIRD. The hard coating is sweet, then you bite into it and it’s juicy, fresh and watery. Then you have this sour dried plum. To be clear, it wasn’t necessarily unpleasant, just such an odd combination.
Stay hungry, more second helpings to come next week!
A trip to Jiufen from Taipei + a lesson in trying to stay positive while traveling
Last time I was in Taiwan, I took a day to visit the nearby town of Jiufen. Jiufen is an old gold mining town, reminiscent of the Japanese occupation. I’ve heard that Jiufen is actually the basis for the town in Spirited Away; unfortunately, Wikipedia says that this is actually just a rumor. However, I think we can all agree that the story is much more romantic, so let’s just go with it.
You can see a resemblance; there are large mountains and the houses are stacked on top of each other in the hillside. It’s gorgeously green and lush and the architecture still has remnants of Japan’s style.
I kept telling Greg how beautiful it was and how much I wanted him to see the town for himself. It’s the Lunar New Year here and Greg has a week off of work (and if you need a reminder, I am happily unemployed) so we headed out to make the trip.
First, we were off to a late start. What we anticipated being a short walk to grab a quick breakfast turned out to be a quest that rivaled that of the holy grail. Two hours later, we had basically walked in a giant circle. Success!
Around 4 p.m. we left our apartment like Dora the Explorer, knapsacks on our backs and maps in our pockets. It was a gorgeous, sunny day and we wanted to make the most of it considering the amount of rain Taipei gets.
Then, we couldn’t find the bus stop. Then, we missed two buses in a row.
Third time’s a charm though, right? We boarded the bus for the hour long ride. Halfway into the trip, it started raining. Which, sucked but like, NBD. We’re used to the rain. Only then it was raining harder. When we arrived in Jiufen, it was torrential downpouring, cold and completely dark. The streets were deserted because other people are smarter than us and decided to avoid the rain. Plus, it was New Year’s Eve which meant that most shops closed early.
I’m not the *most* optimistic person in the world. I like things to go my way and if they don’t, then I can get just a little grumpy. But, like, just a little. Which means that traveling can be a little stressful. But, like, just a little. Anyways, Greg is not at all like that. I joke with him that he reminds me of a golden retriever. Happy to see you, greets you at the door, always begging for food scraps… (especially the last one). And because it was his walk time, I felt bad being in a shit mood so I was really trying to stay positive. But, like, reallllyyy trying.
We moved our ways through the hills and winding stone streets and it was surprisingly pretty with the red lanterns pathing the way. The street food in Jiufen is definitely worth a trip up, but then you have to deal with massive crowds of tourist and sometimes you can’t even fight your way through the sea of people to even get the food. With the deserted streets, you really got a feel for the architecture of the old street.
We were starving with only closed doors in sight. We wandered around until we found the only open restaurant. I was a little apprehensive about it since no one seemed to speak any English or even notice us when we walked in. Greg figured out that the order sheets were on the tables and we Google translated and deciphered the menu until we had a general idea of what we wanted. FYI if you google translate something in Mandarin on a menu and it says “pill”, it means “ball” (as in fish pill soup).
From the left side, we ordered beef noodle soup, a tea egg, steamed greens (not actually sure what green this is!) and codfish ball soup.
The bus to Jiufen runs until 9 p.m. most days and it was around 8 p.m. when we finished dinner, perfect timing since the bus comes every 15 minutes. We got to the bus stop and waited alongside a few other groups. Cabs started to pull up offering to take us back to Taipei for three times or four times the price of the bus. Of course, being street smart Torontonians, we were wise to their hijinks and politely declined. The couple next to us hopped in though. Suckers… we thought.Only now the bus was a little late. But, like, only a little late. Two cabs pulled up, trying to get us for a ride to Taipei but we kept shaking our heads.
Then the cabbie said, “No buses”.
And we were like, “wait, what?”
No buses to Taipei. Fuck. Part of me thought that this could be an elaborate lie by the taxes to make a buck. We knew that we could get a taxi to a nearby train station called Ruifang and grab the train back to Taipei from there but the chances of a cab agreeing to a shorter, cheaper fare when there was money to be made?
That’s when the 5-0 stopped right in front of the stop. The cop got out of the car and started speaking to the cabbies in Mandarin. I kept wondering if this was a normal thing, like maybe some sort of regular check in with the cab industry? I don’t know but all the other people at the stop looked just as confused as I did. The policeman turned to us and explained that the cab driver was right, there were no buses and the best thing was to go to Ruifang but like we suspected, these drivers wouldn’t take us there. He suggested we walk 10 minutes to the nearest police station and call a cab from there to take us to Ruifang. He spoke a little longer with the driver. The driver then relented and agreed to drive us back to Ruifang, or he would drive us back to Taipei for a more decent amount.
Greg and I plus five other Korean girls piled into the cab (couldn’t be safe) and sat silently for the 45 minute trip. We texted each other during the drive. Mostly about the crazy Asian music videos playing on the mini tv in the cab (why are there SO MANY GIRLS in 1 group?!) but also about the fact that we felt pretty proud of ourselves. We got through a meal with no English whatsoever, with wet socks and shoes and we tried to find the brightest bits of the trip. On a personal note, I’m pretty proud of myself for not getting overly stressed. I mean, I was a little. But, only like a little.
What am I doing here in Taipei?
Today is the two week anniversary of my arrival in Taipei! Even though it’s only been two weeks, it feels so much longer. I was in the grocery store today and looking wistfully at the cheese and wine, thinking about how long it had been since I had any. Then I realized it hadn’t been that long. Only two weeks.
I keep waiting for it to feel “real”, like I’m at home and not just on a long trip. Even though I’m not really sure what “real” will feel like. Will it just be me feeling and calling this place home? Will it be me not needing to use Google Maps every. single. time? Will it be me finally remembering how to pronounce the name of the nearest subway station? I’m not sure that it will happen like a light switch.
So, how did I get here? About two years ago, my boyfriend and I got the idea to move overseas for a year or two. We knew there was a two-year working holiday visa available to Canadians for the U.K. and for a while, it seemed like we might be heading to London but after lots of research, we both decided it just wasn’t quite the time for us to go for it. We both needed to work on our careers a little more in Toronto before venturing off. A few months ago, we decided the timing was finally right. Toronto was beginning to feel small and while we both enjoyed our jobs, it was just time to try something new.
In June 2016, I visited Taipei for the first time on a month long trip I took across Asia. I loved it here. Taipei is the perfect place for foodies, the cost of living is pretty reasonable and the views are amazing. It feels fantastic to see giant green, lush mountains peaking out from behind tall apartment buildings. I love being able to drop in a 7/11 every 5 minutes to grab a tea egg and a drink. I love the bike rentals and public transport and hot springs!
Back in Toronto, I started my *subtle* nudging and hinting about wanting to move to Taipei.
It worked and we started the visa process. Two weeks today, we moved to Taipei on a one-year working holiday. And this is where we’ll start off! A few friends have asked me to document my year here with blog posts and video and photos. So, if you’re one of those friends, congrats! I’m still unemployed in Taipei and I’ve got some time on my hands so you’ve got your wish.
Occupation Status: These things take time
I’m obsessed with time. Having it, needing it, figuring out what to do with it and figuring out how much of it I’ve spent. I catalog my days in hour long blocks inside my head. I need to keep track of how I spend my time so I don’t feel like I’ve wasted it. I have a to-do list that keeps growing, and nothing gets crossed off. I have a journal, a notebook and a day planner were I write down things to do, things I’ve done and ideas for what to do tomorrow- in all three. Just to make sure my obsessive nature feels satisfied.
I went out for Chinese food one night a while back, after I knew I was going to be leaving my job. I like fortune cookies, I always hold on to the hope that one day, I’ll open my cookie to find the magic fortune that I’m meant to have that will tell me the way to eternal happiness. Though I am sure I, along with 50 other people are reading the exact same fortune at any moment. That night, my fortune told me to take some time for myself, and that this time would help me accomplish more.
The evidence:
(please ignore shit nails)
So, because I am a sucker I thought, why not?
In the first two-three weeks in my time off, I felt blissfully light and unburdened. The repeated question from friends and family members seemed to be: “so, what have you been doing?” and my answer was a resounding: “Honestly, I don’t even know…”.
Time passed by quickly but I didn’t seem to care. I filled my day with the things I wanted to do, the things I had forget that I had loved, the things I kept meaning to do or so but never did. I had the occasional meeting or interview, none of them panned out but I was thrilled to just be enjoying my time and becoming a lady of leisure.
But then my list of things I wanted to do with my time off just became increased at an alarming rate. I’ve never done wood working, I thought, I must wood work! I need to build a table or something. Someone mentioned that they were taking Indian cooking class- why hadn’t I thought of that? I need to take Indian cooking classes! Should I paint my living room? Do I need an accent wall? I should pitch a story to at least 3 magazines a day. I should freelance. I should get a volunteer job. I think I need a pet.
Mostly: Should I start looking for a job or should I take this time off to travel?
I’m overwhelmed with the choices and decisions. Yes, being a lady of leisure has its perks but when there are so many options and paths in front of me, it doesn’t make me feel like the world’s my oyster, it makes me want to crumple up on the floor and quit.
It’s hard to feel like you’re not completely failing at life when you wake up four weeks into unemployment and you’re like- wtf have I done? What the fuck am I doing? Where am I going? Which is kind of where the obsessive note taking and list making comes in. I worry that time is running out.
Though I know this feeling has anxiety partly to blame (I’ll get into anxiety later). But I can’t do everything, it’s not possible.
When you keep changing the course, you don’t end up getting there faster, you end up going in circles.
Sometimes all you can do is take time. There isn’t some magical fortune cookie that will divulge upon you the secrets of the universe and life. You take time, you make a decision and you see what happens.
Taking some time, and trying to narrow in and focus on what you want is key when you’re at a fork in the road.
I don’t think that it will deliver all the answers, but it will help me decide what’s next and sometimes, that’s all you need.
#ByeFelicia: When it’s time to quit and say goodbye to your job
You know when you’re faced with a situation and you look at it and you’re just like, well, this is…happening (?!).
And it’s this combination of umimpressed meh and ‘for real?’ and ‘ugh whatevs’ man, cause I can’t even right now.
Kind of like…
A disappointing *le sigh* and this feeling was all I could muster when I found out my role was going to be restructured.
When I quit my last job, I was drowning in ‘what if’ thoughts, dread and fear of what my next move might be.
This time around, I felt more like:
This job was tough. Probably one of the more challenging things I’ve experienced professionally. And truthfully, I’m worn the fuck out.
I had started to have massive panic attacks brought on by paralyzing anxiety. Not all attributed to my job, of course. This prompted a visit to my doctor asking to please give me something, asap.
It’s easy for friends and family to hear this and come up with the obvious answer: well, then just quit.
UGH. How I loathe hearing this.
I didn’t want to quit because of pressure or anxiety. I’ve always felt that I should only ever leave a job when I had truly felt honest with myself in saying that I could do no more and get no more out of it. I didn’t want to run away out of fear.
When the rumors started swirling that my role was being restructured, I felt like laughing.
It was uncomfortable and I’m prone to fits of giggling in awkward situations, but that aside, I was relieved and more so, the idea that I had stressed and worked myself into crying sessions three hours long was laughable.
These past two weeks waiting until the 31st, have been two of the longest and two of the shortest rushed weeks of my life. Speeding to finish up projects and counting down the hours I have left until five but at the same time feeling like I’m running on an empty tank makes for grumpy Alex. Combined with the incredible anxiety my body has come to feed on these past few months, the struggle to get up every day has never been realer.
Don’t think I’m complaining, well, I am. But don’t think that I regret taking this job. I feel no dishonesty in saying that I am better for it. I’ve learned so much professionally and personally.
However, when I was asked to apply for the same role in a new setting within the company, I respectfully declined. And when I was asked to stay in my role for and additional month, I also, politely declined.
I’m not sure if I am/was finished with my job in the way that I was my last one. In my last role, I had hit a ceiling professionally and was stuck in rut. In this role, I felt like one of those carnival hammer strength tests. A tough day/week/month was the weight of the hammer testing just how high my emotional meter would go until the bell finally rang. I hit an emotional ceiling and was stuck in a rut.
I’ve taken all that I can and I’ve given all that I can. And that’s when you say #byefelicia.
My job is important, but my job isn’t me. And when you’ve given and you feel drained, it’s time to move on. I’m trying to get over this feeling that I’ve failed. But isn’t failure the unwillingness to get up and try again? I like to think it is. So maybe this wasn’t for me, but I’ll try at something new and different.
But for now, it’s #byefelicia.
6 #UnemploymentProblems That You’ll Encounter When You Quit Your Job
When you’re unemployed, life is weird. It’s an odd transition time. You’re not doing nothing, because time is spent brushing up your resume, reading articles on ’10 Ways to Ace your Next Interview’ and completing Buzzfeed quizzes. However at the same time, it’s like there are still never enough hours in the day. I still haven’t cashed in my spa certificates, I still haven’t finished those freelance pitches or my online portfolio. In this limbo state, you find yourself adopting new behaviors or altering your lifestyle to fit this weird, hazy time. In other words, you have a butt ton of #unemploymentproblems to deal with.
Here are 10 #unemploymentproblems I’ve encountered:
1. #BagLadyChic. At any given time I am carrying around any and everything I may or may not need in the next 24 hours. It’s fucking heavy. And I still haven’t cashed in my massage certificates.
2. You spend a lot of time wandering around. Some days I might have two coffee meetings and lunch plans with a friend which means I am busy but I also have a lot of time to fill inbetween. I have a constant stash of bandaids in my pocket for blisters.
3. You spend a lot of time in coffee shops drinking coffee and mooching wifi. Pro Tip: The Second Cup at King and Bathurst is awesome as are most Aromas. Starbucks is decent but you’ll have to fight for seating.
4. You spend a lot of time eating on the subway. Last week, 70% of my day was spent on transit. Which meant lunch and dinner were both eaten in grand style on the streetcar. Klassy.
5. Some weeks are equally shitty as they are awesome. I had a shitty week. But it was also kind of awesome. I had a job offer but I fought a certain male in my life who I am still angry at as I write this. I was exhausted, emotionally and physically but for the first time in a while, I saw my hard work starting to result in something.
6. My laptop is my BFF. I spend a lot of time alone. Most of my friends are 9 to 5’ers and the boy works long hours and nights. Adding to this is the fact that I have night classes three days a week so I work on blogging, resumes or homework whenever I can. So me and my laptop are suppppeerr close.
My two month experiment is coming to an end (and some MAJHUR updates are promised) but in the meantime, I felt like I needed to get some of these off my chest. While being unemployed has given me the opportunity to really work on myself, it’s given me a lot of headaches. It’s tough to constantly be in limbo and not being sure where exactly you’re going. And carrying around those huge bags and laptop everywhere? Well, they can make the journey even tougher.
Cheap Beauty Products for Broke Ass Girls: Budget Friendly Drugstore Foundations
When I was employed, I got paid on a monthly basis which meant that at the start of every month, this was my life:
Of course, this inevitable lead to this situation come the 30th or 31st of the month:
Now that I am unemployed, this is my life every single day.
Inserting my debit card and waiting anxiously to find out whether it flashes the ‘INSUFFICIENT FUNDS’ alert on the machine is the shittiest casino game.
As some of you may know, my last job was for a beauty blog so I take that shit seriously. At the height of my game, I was rolling in the Benefit, Yves, MUFE, Tarte, Too Faced and life was good. This morning, I went to apply my Urban Decay Naked Skin Foundation (the best IMO) and found that only the dregs were left in a small pool at the bottom of the bottle. I’m still using the bottle, obvi. I just have to unscrew the top and then either scoop out the meager leftovers with a Q tip or the end of an eyeshadow brush. Hey, I’m unemployed. And class went out the window a while back.
I’m just dreading the day I reach for my bottle and it’s bone dry with just that crusty layer of foundation on the rim. When that does happen, I will probably crumple into a ball, throw hissy fit and start crying on the bathroom floor because in a state of denial I refused to buy a replacement bottle of $50 foundation that is basically 5 days worth of work lunches for me at the moment. Then I will come into the bedroom and show my boyfriend my poor, dead bottle of UD and scream, ‘MY BBBABBBYYYYYYYYY!’ and then he’ll probably say, ‘I told you the key was for emergencies only.’
JK. But seriously- boys don’t get it. Once you go high end, you can’t go back.
When I first started wearing makeup, I wore CoverGirl’s Clean Foundation which had this awful, thick, cakey formula that oxidized to this orangey shade. But drugstore brands have seriously upped their game of late which means decent quality foundation can be found on the cheap. Good news for us broke ass bitches.
Here are 4 of my favourite drugstore, budget foundations:
1. Revlon PhotoReady Makeup (C$18.99): This foundation is a dupe for Make Up For Ever HD foundation but at half the price. It’s a thicker formula, full coverage, especially great for my bad skin days. It dries to a matte, even toned finish which can be a bit drying so be sure to use a good primer and moisturizer.
2. CoverGirl Outlast Stay Fabulous 3-in-1 Foundation (C$12.49): When you are unemployed, you spend a lot of time wandering around. For all that wandering, you need a good, long lasting foundation.
3. Revlon Nearly Naked Makeup (C$11.99): Similar to Urban Decay’s Naked Foundation (again, totes my fave), this foundation is lightweight and perfect for warmer seasons. It has a natural finish which means that it is on the sheerer coverage spectrum but paired with a good concealer looks subtle but covers blemishes and evens skin tone.
4. Bourjois Healthy Mix Gel Serum Foundation (C$27.00): Okay, so this one kind of passes on a technicality but even though it is on the pricier side, it is sold at a drugstore and compared with the $50+ foundations, it is more affordable. Bourjois makes a great formula, not cakey, natural and really moisturizing. It is illuminating and helps cover blemishes but I don’t know how much clout I give to the whole ‘anti-oxidant’, ‘fruit radiance, erasing signs of fatigue’ marketing angle.
Give me more recommendations for inexpensive, budget friendly foundations and let me know if you want more drugstore recos for skincare, makeup and more!
Yes Way, Taipei! 